I can't live without you
by m.mms
Summary: The night of LP's wedding and after that. Lucas-centric but it also contains LP too.
1. Chapter 1

A SIDE NOTE : ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, SO IF YOU FIND MISTAKES AT SOME POINTS I APOLOGIZE.

* * *

This was the best day in his life. His biggest dream had come true and he couldn't ask for anything more. He finally married Peyton, the love of his life. The girl that he loved and wanted to be with for a long time, and now after all those years and after all that they had been through to be together, finally they could be together forever. He just didn't know that forever could be so short. He still couldn't believe it, like it was too huge and it happened too fast that his mind wasn't able to process it. It was a really horrible and cruel ending to the most beautiful day in his life.....

When they came home from the ceremony, he left to bring the surprise that he had prepared for her. The comet. They had so many beautiful memories with it, that's why he made so much effort and tried so hard to fix it.

He just kept imagining Peyton's face when she sees it. But when he opened the door something hard hit his head, everything became foggy in his eyes and then he didn't feel anything........

Detective: ok Mr Scott, I need you to focus and tell me exactly what happened.

Though Haley had put a bag of ice on his head, his head was still so painful but the real pain was in his heart and soul.

" I already said once, we came home, I left a few minutes to bring her car that I had fixed for her as a surprise and when I came back and opened the door he hit me in the head .when I opened my eyes, my hands were tied, then I saw him. "

Are you sure it was him?

Yes, it was him! That bastard psychopath, Ian.

Ok, then what happened?

"He told me that I had taken Peyton away from him, so he had waited for the perfect time for revenge. He said I took her away from him so he was gonna do the same to me. But he said he was gonna let me see her one last time....." he couldn't continue.

The detective paused a little and asked: "So you saw your wife? Was she...was she alive? "

WIFE. This word kept resonating in his head. "Yeah, she was.....she was unconscious but she was still breathing, I could see that. Then he carried her out, I tried to open my hands as soon as possible but...it was too late, he took her, he also took the comet."

Ok, we are searching for them. We'll inform you as soon as we find them, ok?

Luke nodded.

The police left. And he just sat there, kept staring at the ring on his hand, then he remembered a few hours ago, when she was putting that ring on his hand and when she said: "I'm so terribly in love with you". Tears came into his blue eyes but he was trying so hard not to let them fall. He kept saying to himself: "she'll come back. She'll come back....she has to. There is no reason right now to lose hope, they'll find her"

Haley realized, came to comfort him. She sat beside him and rubbed his back while she was trying not to cry in front of him: "Hey, It'll be okay, they are gonna find her. I'm sure she is ok."

He looked at her: "It's funny. I can't find a way to connect how I was feeling 3 hours ago with how I'm feeling now. I just really hope you are right, 'cause if not, I'm done. I'm done with this bullshit life and this cruel and unfair world......you know, I never had a easy life, but this one.....this one is just too much, its beyond my tolerance. I can't........ " He didn't even cry when he said these, in fact he looked so serious that Haley got scared and worried. What if it's not gonna be ok? What if she is dead? What would happen to him? Everyone knew how madly he was in love with Peyton but she knew better than anyone how much he loved her. They were best friends since childhood and she barely could remember a time that he hadn't talked about Peyton constantly. She tried to pull herself together quickly and said: "it will be ok, it will be." though she really wasn't sure.

Nathan and Skills were outside, they were going crazy too. It was so hard to see their brother and friend suffer like that. Brooke and Julian were in another room where she was crying and Julian was trying to comfort her. Millie and Mouth were in the kitchen. They all wanted to be there for their friend during that hard time, yet most of them couldn't stay in the same room with him. Plus everyone knew he needed his space and that always liked to be alone in the hardest times.

A few hours passed. Someone knocked the door. Everybody got nervous. They looked at each other with worried eyes. Eventually Skills opened the door. Yes, it was the police. Lucas stood up but didn't say a word, he was just waiting to hear whatever they wanted to say. The detective came inside. He was looking sad. He paused for a few seconds and finally said: "we found the car...apparently there has been an accident. We found two bodys, one was outside the car and belonged to Ian Banks, our guess is that he has pulled himself out of the car after the accident but has died from bleeding too much....the other one was a female body and was in the car."

Luke couldn't do or say anything, his mind was trying so hard to process what he was hearing: "A female body? What does that mean? Is it her? I should see with my own eyes to believe it" he finally spoke:

Can I see her? The body I mean.

No, unfortunately most of the car is burnt. So is the body, there is nothing much left from it.

Well then you can't say for sure that it's my wife, right?

The detective got even more sad and picked something from his pocket "we found this...do you know it?"

Lucas came closer. It was a ring, her ring, Keith's ring, the one that he gave her and she was supposed to wear it forever. He looked at the detective while he was stunned and so confused, like he couldn't believe it.

Detective continued: "we also found some little pieces of a white dress .......I'm really sorry, son."

Brooke started to cry loud. But Luke was still standing there, frozen, without saying a word or crying ,like he still was processing it, then after a few seconds he started to shake his head and took a few step back while he was staggering, like the whole world and everything in it was spinning around his head."No, this couldn't be true" he thought to himself. Haley wanted go towards him to hug him but then got shocked and confused by what he started to do. He was laughing! The detective said: "He is in shock ". Nathan went to him and slapped him as hard as he could. He stopped laughing by that, looked at Nathan while he was still stunned. He blinked a few times, then tears started falling from his eyes. Suddenly he lost all the strength in his legs and fell on his knees, then screamed so hard and started to cry. Nathan sat on the floor with him, pulled him into his arms and hugged him while he wasn't able to keep the tears in his own eyes anymore. Everyone was crying in the silence..............

A few days passed. Lucas was sleep in his bed, a serum was injected to him. There were some pills on the little table beside his bed. Haley was standing outside the room. She had stayed in his house since that terrible night. Nathan came and stood beside her. The door was open. Both looked at him as he was asleep. Both of them were wearing black.

"He finally could sleep last night…....with the help of thousands sleeping pills and sedatives, of course. But now I have to wake him up for the funeral." she said this and shook her head sadly.

Nathan looked at her, he was sad too but didn't say anything. Haley entered the room and sat on his bed. She stroked his hair and forehead very gently and called him: "Luke,......honey....."

He tried to open his eyes: "hmmm..."

Come on, you should get ready.

"For what?" he was still confused, but then noticed Haley's formal black dress. He shook his head "No. I'm.......I'm not coming."

What?......but you should.

"No! I can't just bury her, I can't." his voice was shaking and there were tears in his beautiful blue eyes. Haley got teary-eyed too, but said: "honey, you are not burying her! It's not her, not anymore. It's only her body. She is already gone. Bedside, you have to say goodbye....."

He shook his head again.

".....come on, I'll help you get ready. " she took a black suit, black shirt and black tie from the closet and helped him to put them on.....

In the cemetery everyone was standing, wearing black. And then there was a coffin with flowers on it. The priest was there too. Everyone was waiting. Larry looked at Skills and said:

"We can't keep everyone waiting more than this, maybe we should start until they come or maybe even he is not coming"

"No, they will come."

Nathan's car stopped by and Haley came out from it and moved towards Skills: "go help Nathan to bring him, he barely can stand on his feet."

"Ok."

He went and brought Lucas with Nathan's help. Nathan was holding his left arm and Skills was holding his right arm and they were helping him to walk over there. Larry, Brooke, Julian, Mouth, Millie, Chase, Mia and everyone else was shocked when they saw him. He truly looked like a ghost, really pale skin, totally hollow-eyed (probably from several sleepless nights and crying too much, both.) He didn't even look at either of them. He just kept staring at the ground. He was totally melancholic. Everyone was feeling deeply sorry for him.

When they got at the grave, Nathan silently asked Lucas by his eyes, that if he has the strength to stand by himself, so he can let go of his arm, and he nodded slightly. And they both let go of his arms but Nathan stood close to him, in case if he needed help again.

Priest started speaking but Lucas couldn't hear a single word, it was like he was in another world. When the priest got finished, someone had to go and take a little dust and do that kind of tradition thing that they do in the funerals. He did that for Keith, because his mom couldn't. But now he didn't have the strength, sure that was a hard time too but this.....this one was just unbearable. Priest was looking at him and was waiting for him to do that.

"Son.... "

He turned his head away and kept staring at the ground. Larry said: "I'll do it." and took some dust but when he let the dust go and when it started falling down, Luke felt his chest was gonna explode from pain. Everything became foggy in his eyes again and he fell. Nathan knelt in front of him: "are you okay?"

He looked at him and whispered: "just take me out of here."

"Ok."

Nathan helped him to get up, put Luke's arm around his own neck and took him to the car.

"I'll be right back." Nathan told Lucas. Then he went to Haley: "I'm gonna take him to his house, I know everyone is supposed to come to our house after the funeral but I don't think he can make it Or do it even there. If I can put him to sleep I'll come and host the guests myself."(they had decided it's better to invite the guests to Nathan's house not to Luke's, so this way he could rest more and wouldn't have to worry about organizing the house or anything like that)

"Ok" Haley said.

In the mean time while Luke was sitting in the car, for one moment he felt like he was choking and that he couldn't breathe, he opened his tie to breathe easier, and started to breathe heavily. Then he leaned his head to the car seat and closed his eyes........

When Nathan came back to the cemetery everyone was leaving, some were condoling and saying goodbye and some were gonna come to his house.

Haley: did he sleep?

Yeah.

I know everyone is coming to our house and we should be there but first I want to see him again, and even maybe he is better now and can come with us .

But……

She didn't let him finish: "but nothing, I need to see him and make sure he is okay. Deb is there, Larry is gonna be there too. It's ok if we're gonna be a little late "

While they were having this conversation Brooke and Julian, Skills, Mouth and Mille joined them:

Skills: yeah, I too want to see him and make sure he is okay.

Mouth: yeah, we are his friends, we need to show him that we are here for him. Let's go there together.

Brooke and Julian nodded.

Nathan: ok, I guess, first we can go there.

They drove there. When they got there, Haley said: "let me go inside first, if he was awake I'll call you guys to come in." she went inside and a few seconds later she screamed: "Nathan! Come here!"

They all looked at each other with terrified eyes and ran inside, while Nathan was the first one that entered Luke's room.

Haley was standing there crying and was covering her face with both hands. Nathan looked down. Lucas was there, lying on the floor unconscious while there was blood all over his hand and on the ground. There was also a knife covered with blood on the floor. Yes, he had tried to kill himself by cutting the blood-vessels of his hand. He was bleeding so badly. Nathan rushed to him and put his ear on his chest: "he is still breathing.... "

Skills: I'll call 911

No, he is losing too much blood, there is no time, we have to take him to hospital as soon as possible, go get my car.

Ok.

"Mouth, find a towel, put it on his hand and push it as hard as you can, so we can decrease the blood he is losing.......Julian come help me to take him to the car....." then he looked at his brother that was unconscious in his arms and whispered : "god, what did you do" ........

The boys took him to the hospital. Millie went to Nathan's house and Brooke and Haley went to the hospital with another car.

They were all in waiting room. Both girls were crying in their men's arms.

Haley : I wish at least Karen was here, you know her flight were canceled because of bad weather and she couldn't make it to the funeral, though she is gonna come in two days but I wish she was here already.

Doctor came. They all stood and looked at him with worried eyes.

Haley: is he okay?

Doctor: he had lost too much blood but fortunately we could save him, though he has to stay here at least 24 hours.

They all were relieved.

Haley: oh, thank god.

"yeah, he is gonna be ok, physically at least. But a therapist needs to see him." Doctor said this and went. They all looked at each other, they were so tired. Haley said: "I'm gonna stay with him here tonight, you guys go"..............

He was released from hospital, but he hadn't spoken one word to anyone including that therapist. Haley had stayed there all along and now she was driving him home. He went straight to bed without saying anything. Haley sat beside him: "why didn't you talk with that therapist? She can help you through this."

I didn't have anything to say to her.

Oh yeah? Well, maybe you have something to say to your mom. She is gonna be here tomorrow.

Luke got worried: "no, please don't tell her. Don't tell her that I......."

That you tried to kill yourself?

He nodded : "she has had enough...I....,I don't want her to worry or......please, I beg you, don't tell her, I'll manage to hide my hand from her somehow in this one week that she is here, I'll hide it under my sleeve or something, just please don't tell her."

She looked into his eyes and broken face and couldn't resist: "fine.".......

Karen came, Nathan picked her from airport. They had all agreed to not say a word about Lucas' attempt to suicide. Karen came home, the home that used to be hers, theirs, Luke's and hers. She entered his room, he was sitting on the bed. The moment she saw her son broken like that, her eyes got teary: "hey! "

"Hi mom." he was trying so hard to keep it together and not to lose it in front of her. She put her bags down and flew to him, took him into her arms and placed his head on her chest and started to stroke his head while tears were falling from her eyes. He couldn't keep tears in his eyes any longer too............

One week passed and it was time for Karen to go back to her home. Her flight was in an hour:

You sure you are okay? I mean don't you want me to stay longer?

Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry. You should go to Lily and Andy.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

He was pretending. In fact he had pretended that whole week that he was holding up ok. He didn't want his mom to know how shattered he was. The last thing he wanted was for her to worry about him, she had been through enough. It wasn't fair to her.

Ok, come here then (they hugged)

Bye.

Bye, take care of yourself, ok?

Ok.

Again, Nathan drove her to airport. Then came back to Lucas' house where Haley and Skills joined him.

Lucas: what are you guys doing here?

Haley: we decided that it's not good for you to live here alone for a while.

Lucas: what?

Skills: I'm gonna move in here for a while until you get better.

Lucas: what?! No.

Haley: you don't really have a choice here, we won't leave you alone again and btw, since you won't go to that therapist, she is gonna come here to see you, every 4 days. We talked to her and she has accepted.

Luke was mad but didn't want to argue, he just went into his room and slammed the door..............

* * *

It had been 2 weeks that Skills had moved in there and he sure was a pain in the ass for him:

You should eat the pills that your therapist has prescribed for you....

Come on, you should eat something, it has been nearly 20 hours that you haven't eaten anything, you are getting thinner and weaker everyday....

Where are you? You are not allowed to stay in bathroom more than 5 minutes considering what you did....

He was driving Luke crazy, him and that therapist both. He couldn't handle being around either of them or anyone for that matter and he barely even had talked to them.

Skills: ok, today that doctor is gonna come again, remember? So you can't sleep most of the day as you tend to do everyday. Just wanted to remind you that.

"Damn, it's one of those damn days that she comes here" he thought to himself. He couldn't handle this crap it anymore. None of them could get what he was going through or the pain he was feeling. He grabbed his coat and sneaked out from the door in his room while Skills was in bathroom.

He was walking in the street but didn't know where he was going. He was passing the street while he was drowned in his thoughts that the sound of the brake of a car took him out of his head. He looked and found himself about one centimeter away from a car. This whole thing rang a bell in his mind. That sweet memory of her, when she nearly ran him over by comet. Now comet was gone and his comet was gone too. He looked at the driver and saw her, with that gorgeous green eyes and curly blond hair. It was her! He blinked a few times and with doing that, she vanished and the real driver screamed: "move it asshole" and he passed the street.....

There he was......standing in front of that house again. He had been there a lot of times before. But this time was different. He was just standing there, looking at it. He had a lot of memories in it.....he was reviewing all those in his head when that teenage girl opened the door and said: "go away, I noticed that you were stalking my house since some minutes ago, if you stay I'll call the police"

Um, don't worry, I don't mean any harm and I'm gonna go now.

"Wait....." she thought he looked familiar and came closer "coach Scott, Is that you?"

He wondered how she knew him: "um...yeah, you know me?"

Of course I do. I go to Tree Hill High. I transferred there about one year ago, you were still coach back then, not to mention that I read your books and I totally fell in love with them, actually I'm a big fan of you! But at first I couldn't recognize you because of your long hair and beard. you looked so different back then. Btw, I've met Peyton too! Twice!

Oh yes, Peyton had talked about her once: "oh.....,yeah, she told me that......."

I'm Molly, and I'm officially so proud that I live in a house that you two spent so much time in it together. And also Peyton's old room is my room now! (She was talking with such excitement) do you wanna see how it looks like now?!

He was tempted to take a look but he wasn't sure about it. "Are you sure? I mean, is that okay?"

Yeah sure, and don't worry my parents aren't home now, come on in.

They went in. His heart was beating fast. The house hadn't changed a lot but the room totally was looking different. He remembered all the sweet things that had happened there and a slight smile came on his lips.

"Ok, now I wanna show you something" she opened the closet door, it was written "Lucas + Peyton =TLA" on it. "One year ago Peyton asked me to paint the closet door and I did but these words remained because they were carved on it, so....I guess they will never be erased! kinda like your love "

His smile faded and his facial expression suddenly changed. He got sad, so sad. He touched those words with his fingers and whispered to himself: "it'll never be erased". Once again those damn tears came into his eyes, like they weren't in his control anymore. He turned his head so that girl couldn't see his tears. But she realized something was up: "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine....um, I have to go now. Thanks for letting me into the house" and he exited as quickly as he could. Then he went to a bar and ordered a lot of drinks. When he was sitting there, he saw himself in the glassy table. It had been a long time since the last time he looked himself in a mirror and now was shocked by what he was seeing, no wonder that poor girl couldn't recognize him, hell he barely could recognize himself with that long hair and beard and he certainly had become so thin, it's like he was fading.

In the mean time:

Haley: what do you mean he is gone? Weren't you there? You were supposed to watch him!

Skills: I just went to bathroom for a few minutes and then he was gone, I couldn't have done anything!

Haley: god, what do we do? What if he tries to do it again?!

Nathan: stop freaking out and focus, where could he be?

Haley: I know! At Peyton's grave or......river court!

Nathan: ok then, we'll go to Peyton's grave to look for him and I'll call Brooke and Julian to go look for him at river court. Skills you stay here in case if he comes back.

They looked for him in both places but he wasn't there. So perforce they came back. And thought maybe he would be back in a few hours. Brooke and Julian went to Brooke's and Nathan and Haley stayed with Skills at Luke's house, waiting for him.

Lucas was staggering in the empty street while he was drunk. He still had a full bottle in his hand. It was so late and so cold. You barely could find a human outside or any creature for that matter. Everyone was in their home, but where could he go? His house didn't feel like home anymore. He went to the cemetery, passed Keith's grave and stood in front of Peyton's. It was written "PEYTON SCOTT" on it. Peyton Scott, "Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott ". This was his prediction that he made with Haley in 8th grade. They used to write their predictions in each year. Sort of what they hoped would happen in that year, or later in the future. And after 10 years this one became true but it didn't last even for one day. He remembered how she asked him to repeat, after he called her "Peyton Scott" for the first time:

"Say that again."

"Peyton Scott."

"God, I love the way that sounds."

Then he remembered the last words that he said to her: "hey! I love you Peyton Scott"

He was just staring at the grave. He wasn't even crying, he even couldn't bring himself to talk to her. He just stood there, frozen, without doing anything. After 20 minutes he started to walk again. And after a while he found himself at river court. This place meant a lot to him, and he always had come here when he was hurt, but this time there was too much pain that even coming here couldn't make him feel better. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically both. He sat on the ground, and drank a little more .Then lay down, touched the ground with his fingers. Like he was looking for that flaming heart that she painted years ago or those cure lyrics she wrote there about one year ago. But he couldn't find them, they were gone and so was she. A few minutes passed and he felt someone was coming over there. yeah it was her, again. He didn't care if she was only a dream or that she wasn't real, it was like he slowly was going insane but he didn't mind, he was just glad to see her again. She lay down beside him, and took his hand with hers and with her other hand started to stroke his face and then wiped his tears. She truly was looking like an angel. His angel. He smiled and whispered: "you're here........please, stay here with me, ok? Don't go anywhere"

"Ok". And the way she said, it was just so soothing for him. He smiled once again and closed his eyes..........

Haley: ok, its 6 AM , we searched everywhere, even hospitals. He spent all night outside and god knows where, while last night was a really cold night, plus it rained all night long I can't wait any longer, I should go search for him again.

All of them were there again, Mouth, Millie, Brooke, Julian, and Skills.

Nathan: but where? Like you said we searched everywhere.

Haley: I don't know,....anywhere.....all I know is that I can't just sit here.......I probably will go to river court again.

Skills: yeah, river court is close to here, it's on the way, and the possibility of him being there is high. We can stop there and if he wasn't there we should divide into 3 teams again and search every single place that he might be, then if we didn't find him we should go to the police.

They all agreed to do that.......

Brooke: oh god, is that him?!

Mouth: yeah,.....he has passed out!

They all ran to him. Millie called 911.

Haley touched his face : "my god, he is so cold". Julian took off his coat and put it on him, Nathan sat and placed Luke's head on his legs, wrapped his arms around him and held him tight to make him warm, while Haley and Brooke were trying to make his fingers warm by their breath. Finally the ambulance arrived and they started their work: oxygen, serum, medicine injection, etc. while they were at it, he opened his eyes moaning. His eyes were half open and he was so confused, he barely could see anything, and couldn't recognize the time or the place. He tried to move. And him doing that was interrupting those ambulance guys' work. One of them said:

"He is confused. Talk to him and make him stay still. "

Haley came closer and called him gently: "Luke,...dear, it's ok,...I'm here, ok? Try not to move"

"Peyton? "

All his friends were surprised by hearing that name, all including Haley .After a few seconds she responded: "no honey, it's me, Haley"

"Haley? .........where......where is Peyton?" he said this while he was looking for her with his eyes among them.

Haley's voice became shaky: "she is not here Luke"

"What? No.......she was right here with me, I saw her"

Haley was trying so hard not to cry while the others were trying to do the same "that's not possible Luke.......she is gone"

He couldn't understand what she was saying. He shook his head and said: "she was here.......she talked to me....." then he tried to move, one of those guys said: "hey, easy, you shouldn't move "

Luke got nervous and struggled even more "let me go, I should find her.......she was here"

One of the guys told the other: "hold his legs" and looked at Julian: "come help us,….here hold his hands " and then him himself injected a medicine to his body and sedated him. In one second he became so languid that he couldn't move anymore.

"Ok, ok that's good, easy...easy...." one of those guys said.

One single tear dropped from his eye before he closes it completely and falls asleep.......

In the hospital :

Nathan: what's wrong with him? Is he gonna be ok?

Doctor: its pneumonia and his lungs are not doing good, so he has a breathing problem and considering that he has a heart condition we should be very careful until the danger passes, but all in all I don't see a reason that he won't be ok, though it'll take time and he has to stay in hospital at least one week.

Nathan: thank you doctor.

The doctor walked away.

Haley: " I'm gonna stay with him"

Skills: no you go, I'll stay.

No thanks, I think you've done enough!

What is that supposed to mean? You think it's my fault?!

Of course it is! You were supposed to watch him and take care of him!

What was I supposed to do, tie him to his bed?! I already said what happened so I'm not gonna repeat it again, but I'm just gonna say this, none of us can take care of him or help him because it's much more serious than that, he needs someone professional to help him. And there are some places that..........

What are you saying?! You're talking about mental hospital?! He is not crazy! He is just so hurt and if it's so hard for you to take care of him I'm gonna do it myself! you can move back to your place and get back to your life!

It's not about me being able to take care of him and it sure as hell is not about me wanting to get back to my own life, I already said, none of us can help him, it's out of our hands.

Well, maybe you can't but I can and I'm gonna take care of him.

Ok, we'll see.........I should go, but I'll call later to see how he is doing, bye guys......

Everyone left except Nathan and Haley.

Haley was still pissed: "can you believe him?! I mean what the hell he was thinking when he brought up the mental hospital?! "

Nathan: I know you don't wanna hear it and admit it but I think he was right.

What?! You too?!

Try to be reasonable, it has been less than one month since her death and he has been in hospital twice.

It's not gonna happen again, I'm gonna take care of him and he is gonna be ok.

"I hope so...........I'm gonna go, call me if you need anything or if there was anything new. I'm gonna come later". He kissed his wife and left.

Haley entered the room. He was still unconscious. There were a lot of tubes and wires attached to his body. One tube into his mouth, one in his nose, that probably one of them was to convey the oxygen to his lungs and help him to breathe and the other was probably for the nutrition purpose, since he couldn't eat in that shape. Of course there was a serum and also a monitor to show his heart shape. Seeing her best friend like this was so hard for Haley. She thought to herself: "what if they are right? What if I can't help him?" but then denied it again and said: "I'm gonna make you okay"........


	2. Chapter 2

After 10 days, Lucas released from the hospital. Haley moved in with him, it was hard on Jamie, so she decided to have him there for half of the day and then he could spend the rest of the day with Nathan and Deb at home. This was the plan for every day.

Jamie: mom, why did you move in here? Are you fighting with dad again?

She smiled: "no honey, I just wanted to help uncle Lucas for a while because he needs my help."...................

It was so hard for her to make the balance between her personal life and the urge that she was feeling for helping her best friend but she was doing her best, she wanted to take care of him. She was cooking for him everyday, giving him his pills on time, taking him to the therapist every few days, talking to him every once in a while to ease his pain. And though she missed being with her husband and son, but she was gonna tolerate it for Luke ,and she hoped that all these efforts would eventually help him and make him better, but why she couldn't see a progress in his shape? It had been 15 days since she moved in with him and there was no sign of him getting better, he was still the same. He wasn't talking or eating much during each day and was asleep most of the day.

She was thinking about all these when her son called her: "mom, I'm hungry"

Ok, lunch is ready, go call your uncle Lucas to come and eat with us.

Ok.

He came back a few minutes later and said: "mom, uncle Lucas is asleep, he is not coming"

He said he wasn't coming for lunch?

No, he was just asleep, he didn't wake up .I called him several times and he didn't answer!

Her eyes became wide from fear. She ran into his room, put her hand on his neck, his skin was cold and his pulse was so weak. She was shaking. She looked around and noticed the empty bottle of his pills that she had bought this morning, on the ground. She realized what had happened and got teary eyed and whispered: "god, Luke.....not again"

Jamie said: "what is mama?"

Look honey, I want you to go to the other room, ok? And don't come here until I say so, ok?

Why?

"Just do what I said! " she looked so serious that he went right away without asking anything more. She grabbed the phone and dialed 911. Shoot, the line was busy. She tried again but it was still busy, she didn't want to waste any more time, she called her husband: "Nathan come here quickly!"

He came and took him to the hospital, once again. Haley dropped Jamie at home with Deb and came to hospital too. She found Nathan: " is he okay?! "

Yeah, we took him here in time. They saved him, he is gonna be ok.

She started crying: "no he is not................you guys were right, you and Skills. None of us can help him, not even me........I wanted to believe so bad that he was gonna be ok by our help and look at the result of my denial, he nearly died...........I don't even know when or how he took those pills from my purse......god......."

"Come here" he hugged her for a few minutes. When she became a little calm she said: "I blamed Skills for what happened last time while it wasn't his fault. He was right, Luke needs serious help and that's not the help we can give him......I should apologize to Skills....I also should call Karen and tell her what really is going on here".............

Karen came with the first available flight and she came straight to the hospital from airport. She saw Haley in the hallway: "oh god, Haley, tell me he is okay"

"Yeah, he is fine...........but this is not the first time that this has happened........." then she explained everything that had happened after Peyton's death. Karen was so shocked, she had no idea her son was in such a horrible shape because every time she had called everyone including Luke himself had pretended that everything was ok.

"he begged me not to tell you anything because he didn't want you to worry and I thought I could help him but I cant...I really cant......and there has been different therapists that we asked help about his situation but none of them could help him because he didnt talk or open up to either of them.......so we really didn't know what to do anymore, that's why I called you and............"

Ok, is he awake now?

Yeah, it's been one hour that he is awake.

Ok.

They both entered the room. When Lucas saw his mom he got so surprised, then he became mad and glared at Haley but Haley looked away.

Karen was so angry: "Lucas Eugene Scott, what the hell were you thinking?! "

He refused to look at her, he just looked away.

Karen became a little soft: "honey, why don't you let those doctors help you? Why don't you talk to them? "

"I have nothing to say to them."

She came closer and sat on his bed, took his hand and said: "baby, I know this is so hard for you...."

He didn't let her finish: "no, it's not hard......its unbearable" his shaky voice and the tears in his eyes when he said this, almost killed Karen: "honey, you are not the only one that has lost his wife.....many people has been through this, and many people are going to, it's really sad and unfair, yes but they grieve for a while and then they move on. You should do the same."

He looked at his mom: "she wasn't just my wife. She was the love of my life, my hope, my happiness, my peace, even the inspiration for my work. She was my EVERYTHING. Plus I'm not grieving for her, I mean at first I was because clearly it hurts when you lose someone you love but it's not about that anymore, it's about the fact that the most vital, important thing in my life is gone and I can't replace it with anything or anyone, EVER.....and it hurts too much and nothing can heal it. None of those pills, none of those doctors could take this pain away, it all remained here......right here "he hit his chest slightly and referred to his heart "sometimes it hurts too much that I want to rip it out of my chest with my own hands."

Karen was trying so hard to keep her tears from falling "I know it doesn't seem like it right now but maybe you fall in love again one day and can find happiness again........"

He became mad and didn't let her finish again: "seriously?! After what happened with Brooke and Lindsey, you are pulling this stupid card on me? You know she was my true love and I sure as hell know you don't believe what you just said."

Honey, I know what you are going through, trust me I really do, 'cause I've been through the same thing but somehow I managed to pass it.

Well, you had your children to hold on to, I mean even if you wanted to give up you couldn't because you had to take care of us and be strong for us, at least you had a reason to do that. Not to mention that you had a part of him with you, Lily .I lost them both, I have nothing left.

Tears dropped from Karen's eyes, she looked at Haley that was sitting on the chair and had remained silent until then, she was crying too. They exchanged a look. Both of them seemed desperate and helpless and didn't know what to do or say to him anymore. He had been obliterated, emotionally, and honestly none of them could blame him.

Karen said: "fine, forget about all that I said by now,......what about me?"

This was the exact thing that he was afraid of her saying it: "what?"

" I put years of my life and youth to raise you.....you can't just do this to me......it wouldn't be fair to me.........promise.....promise you won't hurt yourself again......." then she started to cry so hard.

His tears started to fall down too, he closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and said: "fine, I think I owe you this much. I promise, but if you think this means that I'm gonna be "ALIVE" again, you are wrong ".He said this and turned away from both of them.............

Karen was at her old house with Nathan and Haley. Haley asked: "so, what are you gonna do?"

I talked to a therapist. He said it's better to confine him for a while.

You mean at a mental hospital?

Yeah, he said Lucas is too depressed and he needs this but I'm not gonna leave him alone there......I'm gonna spend most of everyday with him there and I just come home for the night. Anyway, I'm gonna be here at least for one month.

What about Lily and Andy?

I talked to Andy and explained everything. He was so understanding and said he could take care of Lily and I told Lily that his brother needs my help right now, so she was pretty convinced. Anyway I'm not worry about them, the only one that I'm worried about right now is Lucas and now he needs me more than them.........

15 days after this conversation, Nathan and Haley were preparing to go visit Luke at the hospital, with Brooke, Julian, Mouth and Skills. When they arrived, Luke and Karen were sitting on the couch in his room. He didn't look so good, in fact he looked like hell. He was staring at floor with a really lifeless gaze. His eyes didn't seem normal and he totally looked melancholic .It was really awkward for everyone. Karen started to thank all of them for coming. Haley knelt in front of him and called him: "Luke...."

He didn't respond, he just kept staring at the floor that way, like he couldn't hear her at all.

She grabbed his face. He looked at her for less than a second and looked away again, like he couldn't understand who she was, or even wasn't in this world. Karen came close to Haley and said: "he really wasn't well today, so they took him for shock therapy about an hour ago, he gets this languid after that, also they gave him more sedatives and sleeping pills today, that's why he is like this."

Does he get like this a lot?

Um,………sometimes.

They all looked at each other sadly. This broken mess wasn't their friend, wasn't the person they used to know. A nurse came and said he needed to rest, and that they should get ready to say goodbye to him. Then she took his arm and helped him to walk to the bed. He was still looking down. For one moment she left his arm to make the bed ready for him and he couldn't keep his balance and started to lurch and was gonna fall that the nurse got him and put him in the bed. "Ok, good boy.....it's ok,...there you go......now, it's time for your noon injection" and she injected some medicine into his body, another sedative. Haley's chin began to shake and she was about to cry that Nathan gave her this look and made her understand to not do it in front of Karen. They all left after a few minutes.

In the car they were all sad and silent while Haley and Brooke were crying silently. Finally Mouth broke the silence: "please someone tell me that wasn't Lucas"

Haley: no he wasn't, he was just a dark shadow of who he used to be.......is he ever gonna be ok again?

Nathan: he has to.........

* * *

2 months had passed since he was confined in the mental hospital and finally it was time for him to be released from there. Karen and Nathan and Haley had decided that it was better for him to live in Nathan's house for a while. Nathan picked Luke and Karen from there and drove them to his house. When they arrived Haley was there waiting for them. "Hi! " she hugged Lucas and guide him to the room that she had prepared for him. The room was big and neat and it had a bathroom. Lucas sat on the bed. Karen entered the room. Haley understood that she wanted to talk with him in private, so she smiled and left. Karen sat beside him, took his hand and softly said: "I will stay more if you want"

No, you should go. Lily needs you. Don't worry about me, I'm fine.

Do you remember what you promised me? That you are never gonna hurt yourself again?

He nodded.

You are gonna keep your promise, right?

Yeah.

"Good" she smiled and kissed his forehead.

Nathan knocked and entered the room: "Karen, we should go or else you'll be late for your flight"

Ok, I'll be in a minute.

Nathan left and closed the door.

"Ok, I guess I should get going." she hugged him for a few minutes, then held his face in her hands and while she was getting emotional, said: "I love you"

"I love you too"

She smiled: "I'm gonna call here and check up on you every day, ok? "

Ok.

Take care.

Bye.

About an hour passed and it was noon. Haley knocked and opened the door, she had brought his lunch to the room for him. He was sitting on the bed and was looking outside, through the closed window. She put the tray on the little table that was beside his bed. In the tray there was a plate with food, a glass of water and 3 different pills. He kept looking away. It was really awkward for Haley, she didn't know what to say to him. She tried to break the silence: "do you like your room? Are you comfortable?"

He paused a little before he answered: "yeah, it's fine" and started to look away again.

"Well,.........ok then, I know you need your space and like to be alone now, so I'll go. Just tell me if you need anything." She left and closed the door. She didn't enter the room until dinner time, of course Nathan checked up on him twice during that time.

She entered the room with another tray but the other one was still there, full, exactly like how she brought it there. Of course the pills were gone, but he hadn't eaten anything from the food and now he was asleep. She put the new tray on the table just in case if he wakes up during the night, and took the previous one and left. When she went to kitchen, Nathan was there. He looked at the food in the plate,then looked at Haley. She shook her head sadly......

It was almost midnight, Jamie was asleep. Nathan and Haley went to bed too. But in less than a hour they woke up with some noises. Somebody was groaning. It was Lucas. They looked at each other and went to his room quickly. He was asleep but looked like he was having a bad dream. He was moving his head on the pillow slightly, his face was all sweaty, he was crying, groaning and mumbling some vague words that Haley only could make out this : "please, don't......don't take her away........" he was having a nightmare about that awful night.

Haley sat on the bed and tried to wake him up: "Luke,....Luke honey, wake up....."

He moaned "no!...." and suddenly woke up and sat. Still was confused, looked at them with wide eyes, while he was shaking and panting.

Haley touched his hand and stroked his head: " it's ok, it's ok.....it was just a bad dream......it's ok ......"

He became a little calm.

"Come on, drink this, it makes you feel better" and gave him the glass of water that was on the table beside his bed. He drank a little and put his head on the pillow again and closed his eyes without saying a word................

* * *

Haley was sitting in her room and was drown in her thoughts.

Nathan said: "hey! What are you thinking about? " And gave her a smile.

She smiled back sadly: "um, nothing....."

"Lucas, huh? " he knew her so well.

"Yeah, it's been one week that he has moved in here. But I haven't seen a real emotion from him in this while,.........he doesn't even talk to me about anything and I can't even connect with him no matter how hard I try.....not to mention that he doesn't eat much during each day and his body has become so weak .....I don't think he can survive or recover from this....." her eyes became teary.

He needs time to get used to not having her, and honestly I can't blame him, I mean I tried to imagine what he is going through and even thinking about losing you were so damn hard and horrible. All we can do is to do our best to help him, and to be strong and patient for him.

She smiled: "you're right.......well, I gonna surprise him today.....I'm gonna make one of his favorite foods......maybe it'll help bring his appetite back somehow."........

Haley: hey! Look what I've made for you. Chocolate chip cookies!

Lucas looked at the plate, and then looked at her, kinda with wide eyes. He remembered that sweet memory:

"if there is someone that can make them taste better I'm sure it's you....

......I take that back......this is the best cookie I've ever had "

Tears came to his eyes and he started breathing heavily. Haley was surprised, this wasn't the reaction she hoped he would show: "um,....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought....." she tried to touch his hand but he took it away from her and didn't let her. Haley got more surprised and even sad. She didn't know what to do. "...ok, fine....I give you some space... " She left the room quickly and went to her room. Nathan was there:"what is it? What happened?! "

She tried to hold her tears from falling "um...nothing.....I just......I think I remembered him something that was painful for him to remember.....that's all..."

Nathan got upset. After a while Jamie came to their room: "mama, when can I see uncle Lucas? it's been one week and you haven't let me to go in his room. It has been so long that I haven't seen him. I miss him"

His parents exchanged a look. Haley said: "look baby, uncle Lucas is really sick. He needs to rest a lot, ok? "

It's ok, I just want to see him, even if he is asleep.

Nathan and Haley looked at each other again.

Haley: ok, just for one moment.

They all went to his room. Nathan and Haley stood by the door and Jamie went inside. He kept looking at his uncle that was asleep, for a short while. Then he put his little lips on his forehead and kissed him and whispered: "get well soon"

It was the afternoon of the same day. Haley had taken Jamie to the park. It was just Nathan and Lucas in the house. Nathan went to his room to talk to him. He was sitting on the bed, looking out of the window as always. Nathan sat on his bed. When Luke saw him, moved a little, and looked at him slightly.

Nathan: hey. How are you doing today?

Fine.

Nathan paused a little: "listen, I wanted to talk to you.....Haley is really worried about you...... so am I.....we really want to help you but you gotta let us....it really kills us to see you hurting like this. You should see Haley's face every time she walks out from this room.....and she really misses her best friend,....I miss my brother and Jamie misses his uncle.

Lucas was listening silently, that Haley and Jamie came back and Jamie screamed with such excitement from downstairs: "Daddy, daddy...come look what mama bought for me!"

Nathan got up and gave Luke a little smile and touched his shoulder before he left....

It was dinner time. Haley had prepared a soup. She took his food to his room as always. Luke was sitting on the bed. She put the tray on his legs this time: "ok.....You really should try this one. I got its recipe from someone that makes the most delicious foods ever."

He was reluctant and couldn't care less. He just kept looking away.

Ok, you can't get rid of me so easily this time. I won't leave until you eat this.

He still didn't do anything, like he wasn't hearing her.

She took a deep breath : "ok, here let me...." she picked up the spoon, filled it with soup and wanted to put it in his mouth that he turned his head away without even looking at her and didn't let her to do that. Haley put the spoon on the plate and started to cry without saying a word. She was frustrated.

Lucas looked at her. He got sad. He didn't want to hurt his friend or make her upset. He paused a little, then tried to pick up the spoon though his hand was shaking. Yeah, it was the result of swallowing a lot of pills every day and also having a depression problem. He tried so hard and finally picked it and stretched his hand towards her. The look on his face was soft. She looked at him surprisingly. And he kept looking at her. She took the spoon from him and filled it again "ok,....ok, good" and chuckled while she said that. He opened his mouth and she put the spoon in it.

"Is it good? Do you like it?" she was happy and excited like a child that was given a gift. She was pretty much rambling.

Lucas forced a slight smile: "yeah, it's good."

"Ok, good,...here, try some more....." she was so excited that didn't realize his smile was fake.

He ate most of it. Of course he really didn't want to and had forced himself to do that but he did it for his friend. Haley put the tray on the table beside the bed. Looked at him kindly and said: "I'm glad you liked it". Then paused a little "....you know you can talk to me, right? Let me help you through this."

He looked down.

"Ok, whenever you are ready, I'm here, ok? " she got up, opened the door and wanted to go that heard his voice: "Haley......"

She smiled: "yeah?"

"I'm sorry" genuinely he said.

For what?

Everything.....all of this.

It's ok honey, we would do anything to make you ok and help you.

He paused: "...........that's the thing.......you can't.....no one can...."

Haley looked at him, mouth agape, and didn't know what to say. She just left and closed the door.

Nathan and Haley were in bed beside each other.

Haley: he finally talked to me today.

Nathan: great!

He saw that she was sad: " .....that's a good thing, right? "

"I don't know" she said sadly.

Next morning, Nathan, Haley and Jamie were at the table, eating breakfast that they all saw something surprising. Lucas had come downstairs and was standing there. The first one that reacted was Jamie : "uncle Lucas!" he ran to him and hugged was kinda awkward for Luke, he paused a little, then he hugged him back: "hey buddy". He forced another fake smile. Nathan and Haley were still surprised and hadn't said anything.

Luke looked at them: "can I....sit here too? "

Haley grinned: "of course! Come sit down! I'm gonna bring your breakfast " and got up.

They all ate breakfast together. Luke ate too but not very much, he played with it more.

After breakfast Lucas told Nathan: " I need to go somewhere.....will you take me? "

Of course. Where do you wanna go?

Cemetery..... .

Nathan drove him there and waited in the car while he went at Peyton's grave. He sat in front of it: "hey!.........sorry that I didn't come here for a long time.......but don't worry, you'll be seeing me a lot from now on " he chuckled but had tears in his eyes at the same time : " I miss you so much......"

* * *

3 months passed and he got better. He wanted to move back to his place.

Haley: are you sure you are ready for that? I mean you can stay here more.

She was worried.

Lucas: I know, but it's been 3 months and I am fine.

Ok, then call me if you need anything, ok? And I'm gonna check up on you everyday.

Ok, thanks.

They hugged and he left. Nathan drove him to his house and before leaving said: "you can come back there if you want, you know that, right?"

Yeah, thank you for everything.

They said goodbye and he opened the door of his house and entered. He had a really strange feeling. It was like he hadn't been there in years and the house looked so.....empty. He hadn't been there much since her death and whenever he was, either there was someone else with him in there or he was asleep thanks to sleeping pills. He took a look around the house. The baby's room was still the same way, he had forbidden everyone to change the way it was. A few hours passed. It was time for dinner. Haley had given him some food. He ate less than half of it and couldn't eat more, he wasn't hungry. Then he went to bed but couldn't sleep. He just kept staring at her empty place on the bed and touched the part of bed she used to sleep at.......

2 days passed. The morning of the 3th day he went to river court. Nathan was there too.

Nathan: hey! .........whoa, you look like hell. You okay?

Lucas: yeah, I'm fine, I just couldn't get much sleep since I moved back.

Well, why don't you take some sleeping pills?

No, if I take them I'll feel dizzy all of the next day. Plus I should get used to not using them because you know, I'll be back at school in 3 days and nobody wants a sleepy, dizzy coach.

It was about 40 days ago that the new principle of Tree High had called Haley and asked her to start to work there again, because everyone at school knew that she was a really good teacher and how that last stupid principle had made trouble for her, so when the new one needed a teacher she called her to ask that. And since Haley always loved teaching, and since the new principle was a good person unlike the old one that was a pain in the ass, she accepted. And about 10 days ago Haley had talked to her about re-hiring Luke there. Ever since he had resigned from coaching, the school didn't have a permanent head coach. Of course Skills had been the assistant coach. So, Haley thought it was good for Luke to be back on the job, because it would help to keep him busy, and since she knew he didn't have the mood or inspiration to write anytime soon, she asked Luke's opinion about this idea:

Luke: Yeah, that would be great.

Haley: yeah, there is only one thing............I know you have too many memories in there so you think you can.......

He didn't let her finish: "no, I'll be fine, just talk to her and put good words for me there".........

So it was like this that Luke re-hired and was gonna start coaching again.

Nathan smiled: yeah, that's right.

Haley arrived at river court: " hey you two! ........Nathan listen, I should go help Mia with her new music, so you should pick Jamie from his friend's house......Luke you going home? I can drop you there on my way"

Lucas: um, actually I was thinking maybe I could come with you. It's been so long that I haven't been at Tric, I would love to see what it looks like now.

Haley wasn't sure about that but said: "ok"......

"Red Bedroom Records" he entered Peyton's old office. Mia and Haley had kept it the exact way it was and they used to do their works in the other room. They were doing the same when he went to that office. He sat on her chair behind her desk and closed his eyes. A smile came on his lips. It was so strange, it was so soothing there, like she was still in the spirit of that office somehow. He opened his eyes after a few minutes. Her laptop was on the desk. He opened it and turned it on. Their picture was the background of the laptop. His picture with her. They looked so young and innocent in it. He got upset again. Haley came there: "I'm done, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's go"......

Dinner time again, couldn't eat much again and went to bed pretty early. He struggled to sleep but he couldn't and he didn't even know why. Suddenly an idea came to his mind. He got up and opened the closet. It was full of her clothes and dresses. He picked one and smelled it. God, it was so comforting. He smiled genuinely. It just smelled like her and that was the exact thing he was searching for. He went to bed with it and fell asleep in a few minutes.........


	3. Chapter 3

That day arrived, the day that he had to start to work at school again. The night before Haley had suggested: "I can pick you up and we can go to school together"

But he had responded: "no, thanks. I'll come there by myself, and I'll meet you there"

He ate his breakfast and started to get ready. He brushed his hair and put on a nice clean shirt. He wanted to look nice at his first day back at work, of course he still had long hair and beard, kinda like Nathan when he was on a wheelchair but whatever, he couldn't care less about his hair style or the length of his hair.

He drove there, parked the car and entered. He noticed a bench in the school yard, a blond girl and a blond boy were sitting there, flirting and laughing. By seeing that he remembered this:

I read a book last night.

Really?

Yeah, it's about this girl and this guy, and they've got this really weird vibe thing going on,......

Really? Hmm. What happens in the end?

You're just gonna have to show up to find out........

........... I want this. I wanna be here. I wanna have everything with you, I want us.......

"Luke!" he came back to present by Skills' voice: "hey man!" he hugged him and Luke hugged him back.

Skills: I missed you! You know none of us saw you after you released from hospital, except Nathan and Haley of course, and even most of those few times that we came to hospital to see you, you were asleep. You know every time we wanted to come to visit you at Haley's, she said......

Lucas didn't let him finish: "yeah, I asked her to do that. In that shape I really wasn't ready to see you guys, I would have felt kinda embarrassed, so....."

Yeah, I understand........well it's good to have you back here!

Thanks.

Ok, I'm gonna go now but I'll be back later, see you!

Luke nodded.

After that he went to principle office. There was supposed to be kind of a session there between teachers and her, she was supposed to talk about the new plans she had in mind for school or something like that. Haley had told him about this. But the office was locked.

Some guy were passing: "it's locked for fixing/repairing kind of thing.....the principle and all teachers are in the library"

"Library?"

He went there. It was a pretty big library and had a lot of doors, he didn't know in which part they were having that session. He started to look for them that he got to a familiar place :

"I have to be with you" he still remembered that moment and that kiss so well, like it only happened yesterday. He kept moving......another familiar place :

"You're always saving me."

"Somebody's got to."

"If I say I love you right now, will you hold it against me?......."

He was staring at the place they hid in that day.

"Can I do something for you sir?" The librarian had changed too.

Um,........I'm looking for principle and teachers.

"This way, they are in that part." she guided him there. Principle was talking and giving a speech about her plans and everyone was looking bored. He found Haley and sat beside her. She smiled at him and whispered: " hi! "

"Hi "

The session ended and everyone went to their classes and Lucas started to move towards the gym. He was passing the hallway:

"Hey! I've been waiting for you"

"I think we waited long enough"

He kept going.

"So what happens in that day dream?"

"I slowly but very gently take her close like this......"

He still could feel the taste of her lips.

He arrived in front of the gym :

"See? It does mean something"

"It can't"

"But it does...............she is great but she is not you"

"Even if we could be together what makes you think it would work?"

" 'Cause I feel it in my heart......don't you?"

"Yes"

He took a deep breath and entered the gym. It was empty.

" Hey, your art matters, it's what got me here.........."

"................it was like you touched my soul,.......so if you are struggling to write the next one, you should know that your art matters Lucas, it's what got me here"

Thoughts and memories were rushing to his head one after the other and he couldn't even control them. He saw another part of the gym and remembered this :

"You're just rusty. Pretty soon you'll really suck. Just like before. Better?"

"Yeah"

He still could remember how she was staring at him with those gorgeous green eyes of hers while she was stretching his arm.

He got frustrated. Closed his eyes and tried to block everything out but couldn't, when he opened his eyes, it all started again :

"Nice hands"

"Nice legs........"

"............nice shot"

"Nice legs, though a little chickeny.............hey Peyton, it's you! When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me......it's you"

God, his head was spinning, and for one moment it got really hard for him to breathe.

"Luke?"

"Huh?!" He got a little scared because he didn't expect anyone there yet and also because was so drowned in his thoughts. Turned back while he was breathing a little faster than normal. It was Skills: "whoa! What is it? you okay?! "

"I ....um........I can't be here.....I'm gonna go home in a few minutes......." and left the gym before Skills got a chance to say anything. He didn't want anyone to notice his shape or see him like this, he needed to find a place to be alone for a few minutes to get a little calm and then leaves there for good. So he went to his office and locked the door behind him but memories didn't leave him alone even there, every single part of that school and everywhere he looked was a memory of her :

" 'Cause I have felt there was this vital piece of me that's been missing....."

And it was the exact thing that he was feeling now. He couldn't keep it together anymore. He just sat on the ground, leaned his head to the wall and closed his eyes after a few tears dropped from them.

Somebody knocked the door: "Luke....Lucas it's me. Are you here? Open the door" it was Haley. He wiped the tears from his cheek, got up and opened the door.

Haley: I just saw Skills,.......are you okay?

I.....I thought I was ready for this but I'm not.....I can't stay here, I'm gonna go home now.

Haley was confused: "well at least talk to principle before you go...."

No,....no,....I can't stay here even another minute.

Ok, can you drive?

Yeah.

Ok then, I'll check up on you after the school.

Ok, bye.

And he escaped there as fast as he could. He arrived home but sat in the car for a few minutes while he was putting his head and hands on the steering wheel. He finally got out and entered the house. He was angry and upset and wanted to do something to get calm, so he started to paint one of the walls of his room :

"Painting while angry? That's original." Her voice resonated in his head. He really couldn't take it anymore, and had reached his breaking point. He just broke down. Threw the brush at the half painted wall, took a few step back slowly or more like staggered to the back. Fell on his knees on the floor and started to sob. After a short while he felt a huge pain in his chest and felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. He tried to get up but couldn't and fell again while he was panting. Then tried to crawl towards the little table beside his bed where his pills including his heart pills were, when he reached there, stretched himself and picked the bottle of his heart pills, opened the bottle but paused. An idea came to his mind. He closed it. But then heard his mom's voice: "promise, promise me you won't hurt yourself again"

He got frustrated and remembered the promise that he made to his mom and that he didn't have a choice....he opened the bottle again, took one pill and swallowed it, then leaned his head to the wall and closed his eyes while his breathing was getting normal again....after a few minutes he got better but was feeling extremely exhausted and didn't even have the strength to make it to bed, he just lay down on the floor with half opened eyes and after a short while he fell asleep.......

Haley knocked the door and entered: "Luke........." she saw him on the floor, her eyes became wide and went straight to the phone to call 911. Shit, the damn line was busy. He moved a little, she went to him before she tries again: "Luke.....can you hear me?"

He opened his eyes but was still a little confused.

Haley: oh, thank god...don't worry, I'm gonna call 911 now and you'll be ok.

"No,....no, there is no need " he tried to sit "I was just so tired and I fell asleep on the floor "

Really? You didn't collapse?

No.

"Ok then, let's get you to bed." she helped him to get up and put him in bed. "Btw, I talked to principle. She was really understanding, she said you can take your time and stay home for another week "

That's good. Thank you.

She looked at her kindly: "you sure you don't need a doctor?"

Yeah, like I said, I'm just tired.

"Ok, get some sleep then." she left but noticed the paint brush on the ground and the half painted wall, before she came out, got a little sad and wondered what really happened there.....

One week later he got ready again and drove to school again. took a deep breath before he entered and fortunately could stay this time.............

* * *

Luke was sitting in his office when Haley came.

Haley: hey!

Hey.

She was in a hurry : " listen my class is gonna start in 5 minutes.....I just wanted to say that I'm inviting everyone for tomorrow lunch to our house and I would love that you come too"

He was reluctant: "um,.......I don't know......."

Come on Luke, your friends haven't seen you in months. They miss you. Plus since you are getting back to normal life again it would be good for you, you should be in social......and you already have started to work here since one week ago...so it won't be that hard, come on, it'll be fun.

Still was reluctant but said: "ok".

The next day noon, they all were there, Brooke, Julian, Skills, Mouth, Millie, Mia and Chase. But Lucas wasn't.

Nathan: are you sure he said he would come?

Haley: of course.

Somebody knocked. Haley grinned: "see?"

She opened the door. It was him. He entered and said hi to all of them......

They were all sitting and talking about different things. But it still was a little awkward for all of them, especially for Luke, he was so uncomfortable there and really wasn't listening to either of them, He was drown in his own thoughts and was hoping he could get out of there as soon as possible. They were laughing, apparently Skills had said something funny. Mouth asked Lucas: "what do you say about that Luke? " while he was laughing. He was trying to get Luke involved in the conversation, but Lucas had no idea what they were talking about in fact he was forced to get out of his head by Mouth's voice that had called his name: "about what? "

About what Skills just said.

Um,........sorry, I wasn't listening.

They all exchanged a look. It got even more awkward. Haley tried to make it right: "um, Luke honey I need some help with drinks and glasses, would you help me?"

Sure.

They both got up. She was preparing the table for lunch and he was preparing the glasses and drinks that suddenly his hand begun to shake again. Yeah, the result of taking those damn pills for so long, the pills that his therapist had prescribed for him. Of course it wasn't as bad as before and it had gotten better since the therapist had reduced the dose of them for each day but still it hadn't gone away completely. He tired to control it but he couldn't and one glass fell from his hand and broke: "damn....." he tried to clean it. They all exchanged a look again.

Haley: it's ok...it's ok..., here let me help you.

I'm sorry.

Stop it, It's no big deal, you go, I'll clean this......

They were sitting at the table and were eating lunch. But Luke was more playing with it than eating it.

Haley: do you like it?

He forced a fake smile: "yeah, It's delicious."

Then why don't you eat?

Um,.......yeah I'm eating, I'm just not that hungry.

An awkward look was exchanged between all of them once again. Suddenly Jamie said:

"Uncle Lucas, are you still upset that you can't see aunt Peyton anymore?"

All of their eyes became wide. No one had the gut to bring up Peyton and that subject, this straight in front of him.

Haley: Jamie! What did I tell you about that?!

Lucas: "it's okay Hales....." then he looked at Jamie: "yeah, I am."

Jamie wondered a little then said: "do you still miss her?"

Luke's voice became a little shaky: "yeah.....I miss her everyday "

I wish I could bring her back to you so you could be happy again.

Lucas smiled, while there were tears in his eyes: "thanks buddy......I wish you could do that too "

They all got upset and Brooke and Haley got teary-eyed but they tried to hide it.

Lucas got up: "well,....I should get going, I have some things to do, so.......thanks for the lunch Haley "

Haley: but you haven't eaten anything........well at least wait until I bring the dessert.....

"No, it's okay, like I said I'm not really hungry......bye you all " and left.........


	4. Chapter 4

It was Sunday morning and Luke was washing his breakfast dish that Haley came: "Hey! Good morning"

He smiled slightly: "hey. What are you doing here?"

Just wanted to check up on you. Also wanted to say that tonight, me and Jamie, are preparing a dinner surprise kind of thing for Nathan. A little celebration, you know? Because his team won in that important game. I wanted you to come too.

It's kind of a family thing, don't you think? I think it's better that it will be just you, him and Jamie.

No,...you are family too. We would love to have you there. Come on, please.

"Um,.........,I don't know,....ok, maybe I'll come " he nodded.

She grinned : "ok, great! " she turned to leave but suddenly remembered something else : " oh....,I forgot..... The day after tomorrow is Jamie's birthday and I'm throwing a party so you shouldn't have any plans for Tuesday night, ok? "

Ok.

Bye.

Bye.

Dinner time arrived but he didn't have the mood to go anywhere, then again he didn't have anything to do in the house too and he was kinda bored, so he decided to go over Nathan's as Haley asked him to. He got ready and went there. He arrived at the door but before he knocks he saw them through the window. They were sitting at the table, on the table there was candles and 4 plates. They were laughing and talking, all three of them, such a cute and happy family......why couldn't he have that? A family with the love of his life? Was that too much to ask? It was his biggest dream and the only thing he really ever wanted. He stepped back without knocking. He didn't want to ruin their family night. He started to walk, but didn't want to go home. He went to Tric for a few drinks. Sat and ordered a drink and was waiting for it that a hot girl sat beside him and flirtatiously asked: "can I order a drink for you? "

"I already ordered my drink and..... " he showed her, his left hand that had the ring on it "..... I'm married and I love my wife"

The hot girl got surprised and a little annoyed and left without saying anything........

It was almost 11 that Haley showed up at Tric because Mia had called her and asked her to go there and do something, something that wasn't gonna take much time and obviously had something to do with their job, music. Mia wasn't there herself. Haley went there but didn't get to her work, because before she enters the office she saw Luke there, passed out from having too many drinks. She went to him and tried to wake him up: "Luke.....Luke...."

"hhmmm......" he mumbled and tried to open his eyes.

"God, how many drinks did you have?!......come on, let's get you home." and tried to help him to get up.......

In his house she changed his clothes while he was half conscious, put him in bed and put the bed sheet on him and covered him with it. His eyes were half open. She kissed his temple and got up and turned to leave. Though he was half conscious but all this, rang a bell in his mind, he heard his own voice resonating in his head: "I hate you....." suddenly he sat. His eyes had become wide and his breathing had become faster than normal, as if he had seen a ghost.

Haley turned back: "what?!.......what is it?!" it was Haley but he saw Peyton saying those words, while everything was foggy in his eyes. He just kept staring at her with wide eyes. Haley came closer and sat on the bed : "what's wrong honey? " again he saw her as Peyton but he knew that wasn't possible, so he slowly blinked over and over and tired to make his eyes even wider so maybe all that fog would go away and that he could see her face better. It was Haley, not Peyton. He was breathing heavily, staring at her wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Luke......Are you okay? You're scaring me.....

"I.....um..........." he shook his head slightly.

"Ok, let me get you some cool water" she left and brought a bottle of water from fridge: "here, drink this........ok, good,.....don't worry I won't leave until you fall asleep......"

The next morning, he woke up and was hangover and was feeling like hell. Haley was gone. He got up, though he really didn't want to, he wanted to stay in bed the whole day but he had to go to school. He washed his face and hands. He had bought a punching bag about two months ago, it was a real help to take out his anger. He started to punch it while he was remembering some painful memories at the same time, in fact last night made him remember these:

"The truth is I want all the same things that you want..I do...and I want them with you....."

Punching.

".....Lucas asked me to marry him"

He remembered those horrible moments so well, when she came to him but her heart got broken and how confused and lost he was feeling in those moments and didn't know what to do.

Continued punching.

"I hate you.....I wish you never came back....you ruined my life........."

This one, this one was just beyond painful. He got more upset and mad when it was replaying in his head that he punched the bag over and over, without any pause, so angrily, fast and as hard as he could, with all his strength. Then he stopped, though he was still panting. His face was covered with sweat .That huge pain came into his chest again. He took one heart pill, sat on the floor and leaned his head to the bed. His breathing was becoming normal. He wanted to wipe his face that noticed his hands had some new bruises and little scars. Yeah, he had forgotten to put on his gloves before the punching and was so angry while he was at it that hadn't noticed the pain in his hands. He took a deep breath, washed his hands and face again, ate his breakfast and went to school.......

He went to the gym, students' class wasn't over yet, so the gym was empty, he wanted to wait till they come, that another memory rushed to his head:

" I love you Lucas, and I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes and its gonna suck but if what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it........be happy Luke, I want that with all my heart "

Seeing her like that and what she told him almost had killed him in that moment, but he was just so lost back then that couldn't have done or said anything, though her tears made his tears come and he remembered so well how hard he tried not to let them fall, kinda like right now......he left there to go to his office. Entered there and wanted to sit on his chair but god, another painful memory:

"Look me in the eye and tell me that kiss did not feel exactly how it felt 3 years ago...."

He wanted these moments back so bad. It was so hard to have regrets. He sat on his chair and put his hands on the desk and his head on his hands and closed his eyes, trying to block the pain out.

Haley came: "hey!"

Lucas opened his eyes and looked at her: "Hi"

You okay?

"Yeah, I just have a headache" he kinda lied.

Well, looks like someone is a little hangover......I thought you were supposed to come to our house for dinner?!

No, I said maybe I would come but then changed my mind and went for a few drinks but then ended up having lots of them.

You think?! You really scared me last night.......anyway, you better now?

Yeah, thanks......I'm sorry that I made trouble for you again.

"Oh, don't mention it, but in the future, don't drink as much, ok?" she smiled and he smiled back.

Ok, I gotta get going and btw don't forget about Jamie's birthday tomorrow night.

Oh,....it's good you reminded me, I totally had forgotten about that.

"Yeah,.....everyone is gonna come to my house today to help me for the party 'cause I can't do it on my own and I have too many guests that most of them are little monsters, because every year he gains more and more friends, so I can use as much as help I can get for cooking, baking, cleaning the house, making it beautiful with hanging balloons and all that........." she was kinda excited and nervous for the whole thing at the same time.

Everyone including?

Skills, Brooke, Julian, Mouth, Millie and of course there is Nathan, but I excused Mia and Chase because she has some important music thing to do.......

What about me? I can come too, after school.

"No, you are excused too...as long as you show up at the party and don't go to drink instead we are good." she chuckled.

He gave her a slight smile: "ouch. I guess I deserve that,.....fine, deal "

She wanted to go but suddenly noticed his hand : "what happened to your hand?! Last night it wasn't like this! "

Um,....it's nothing important, I just punched something, that's all.

Punched what?

My punching bag.

You know there are gloves for that, right?

Yeah,...I just forgot to put them on and I noticed when I was finished.....seriously, it's no big deal.

She got sad and begun to wonder but tried to hide it from him: "ok then, I'm gonna go, see you."

See you.

At Haley's house everyone was helping and doing something. She was supposed to organize some stuff too, but instead she was just standing there, drowned in her thoughts.

Skills: hey! Haley James Scott!

Haley: huh?!

"Where is your mind at? You know you are the host of this thing, right?" he said this and laughed, and everybody laughed with him but then he noticed she was sad: "what is it? "

Nothing, I was just thinking about Lucas.

Why? Is he okay?

"Yeah, I mean apparently he is. 9 months have passed, he has moved back into his house, he has started to work since 2 months ago....apparently he is back to normal life.....but....when I talk to him and look in his eyes, it's like they're lifeless, you know? Like there is no soul in his body,.......like his soul has gone with her and that he has died with her, the only difference is that his body is still on the ground........nine months have passed and he is still hurting and paining like hell ." She tried to hold it together. Everyone else became sad too.

Nathan: Yeah, but we did and are doing our best to help him.

"But none of us can!................except " she suddenly looked at Brooke, as if a brilliant idea had just come to her mind.

Brooke: except what? Why are you looking at me like that?

Except you! You can help him!

Me?! How?

Well, he loved you once...........

Brooke got where Haley was going with this and didn't let her finish: " oh, no no no, you have to be kidding, right?! "

No, you can help him emotionally, you can help him get better and since he loved you once, it wouldn't be so hard for you to do that.

It was just a high school romance! The feelings that he had for me can't even come close to what he felt for Peyton, she was his first and true love and he can't love anyone the way or as much as he loved her.......and may I remind you the reason for our break up? It was because of these strong feelings that he had for her and the fact that he was never really over her! Plus all of that is over now, and has happened a long time ago. I'm with Julian now!

I know, I know all this but...........

Brooke didn't let her speak again: I kinda, was a rebound for him!

Haley stared at her like she wanted to say something and Brooke so got the meaning of that look: " oh.......so, you want me to be his rebound again, huh?"

Look, I don't say it has be something serious or anything, just a simple hook up to help him somehow and since your history happened long ago as you said and none of you have any feelings for the other, it won't cause any problem, it's just a one night stand kind of thing......kinda like you and Nathan.

Ewww, OMG I can't believe what I am hearing!

Please Brooke, I know it's a little crazy but don't you want to help him? there is no way he shows attraction to any stranger girl now...... but with this plan maybe it makes it easier for him and it'll help him to move on, it's the only chance to help him and I know you would do anything to help him because he is your friend and you love him and he is hurting so bad right now.

Brooke was still angry but wasn't saying anything, it was obvious that she was thinking about her idea. Everyone else was silent too, including Nathan, but it was obvious that he hadn't liked this idea.

Brooke finally spoke:" even if I wanted to agree with this it wouldn't be only my choice" . And looked at Julian.

Haley looked at him too, with such suppliant eyes "please, it won't be anything serious"

Julian always had a fear when it came to Lucas Scott, because he had ruined his relationship once and he was so afraid that the history will repeat itself, and it was gonna be worse this time because he was sure that this one was his true love, but despite all this he agreed with the plan though he really didn't want to.......

Brooke went to Luke's. It was afternoon and he had come back from school.

"Hey! "

" Hi " he looked surprised " what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to help Haley till night"

"Yeah, the other guys are helping her and she sent me here to check up on you since she couldn't come herself"

"Oh,…ok. Well, do you want coffee or something?"

"Yeah, that would be great"

He went and brought a cup of coffee for her. She noticed so many photos on the bed. Photos of her best friend and Luke........ She truly has missed her best friend. She got sad first, then became nervous and felt kind of guilty for what she was gonna do "damn you Haley!" she thought to herself.

So, how are things with you and Julian?

Good.........you were looking at pictures?

Yeah, I brought all the pictures that I could find,.............I really miss her.

I miss her too.

He looked at her, slightly smiled and nodded. But he couldn't even imagine what she was about to do. She smiled back, and kissed him! He got so surprised, and pushed her back in less than a second without kissing her back. They just stared at each other for a few seconds and Luke finally broke the silence: "what was that?"

"Something lame I guess,...forget it " she was embarrassed, got up nervously and wanted to leave as soon as possible that Luke said: "wait.......,come sit here "

She wondered what he was gonna say. Turned back and sat.

"You know you are a great person, right? And we had fun together back then in high school and had some good times. But Peyton......"

She finished for him: "Peyton was the love of your life and also the person you loved first and you never really stopped loving her and you aren't going to, ever."

"Yeah" he nodded.

She smiled slightly: "trust me, I know that......" then she became mad: ".....and I told Haley this but.......... "

"Whoa! Whoa!.....so this was Haley's idea?!"

"Oops! You weren't supposed to know that."

He shook his head and was a little annoyed.

"Hey don't be mad at Haley, she just desperately wants to help you somehow. She is worried about you, we all are."

"I know but she has to accept the fact that I'm never gonna be the same again" he paused a little, then while he was smiling slightly, said : "ok, you did your mission, you can go now."

She laughed and got up to go.

"Brooke......."

Yeah?

I'm sorry.

For what?

.........I never could love you the way you deserved....because my heart was always with someone else, and I'm sorry for that.

It's okay.......to be honest I never quite understood it, but now I do...because I'm having what you had with Peyton....I'm having it with Julian and its great.

"Yeah, it's an amazing feeling and I'm glad that you got to experience it,.....just make sure you enjoy of every single minute of it, 'cause one day you may open your eyes and it might be gone forever, don't waste even one moment." his voice became shaky when he said the last part, then turned his head away.

Brooke: aw, Luke.....

Go, I'm fine......really.

.....Ok,..bye, see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Brooke came back from the "mission". Everyone was still there at Haley's. And poor Julian was about to have a heart attack and couldn't wait to hear how it did go.

Haley: what happened?

The exact thing that I said it would.......seriously it was a lame idea, and btw, at the end I kinda slipped up that it was your idea.

What?! .......Gee, great, thank you, now he is gonna be pissed at me!

"Well it was your idea so if there was gonna be someone that he was gonna be pissed at, it had to be you! Though I didn't do it on purpose but I'm happy with the result!" She grinned and Haley glared at her.

Nathan: well it wasn't a good idea in the first place.

Skills and Mouth nodded.

Brooke: ok, let's go Julian......

Brooke and Julian went home. Julian was so relieved and happy: "thank god nothing happened between you and him, I so prayed that it wouldn't happen the way Haley had planned......especially tonight." he was trying to make a point.

"Yeah, I told you there was no need to be worry. I was sure about what was gonna happen and it turned out that I was right...." she smiled at him genuinely ".........wait, did you say especially tonight?" she got flirty "do you have a surprise for me?"

He smiled back: "in fact, yes I do, but first you should close your eyes"

"Ok" she closed them but tried to cheat. Then she heard his voice from the room: "hey! Don't cheat! I said keep them closed until I say so! ".She laughed: "ok"

Ok, open.

She opened her eyes but got disappointed: "why your clothes are still on?"

He laughed: "you've guessed the surprise wrong"

Damn, I got disappointed.

Trust me, this one is better than that.

No, no surprise is better than sex!

He got serious, looked in her eyes and knelt on one knee and opened a little box: "Brooke Davis, will you marry me?"

She was so surprised that she kept looking at him, mouth agape for a few minutes without saying a word.

"Umm,.........my knee and my heart are killing me. The first one is kinda hurting and the second one is exploding, so I appreciate if you answer" Julian said while he was smiling.

She laughed and cried at the same time: "yes" .Then threw herself in his arms and they started to make out............

Everyone was gone, it was just Nathan and Haley when Luke stopped by. Jamie was sleep.

Lucas: hi........I see everything is pretty much organized.

Nathan: yeah, we had a lot of help today.

Haley couldn't keep it in her chest any longer: " listen Luke, I know why you are here and I know you are pissed at me but I just wanted to help."

"I know" he said softly. His reaction wasn't the one that she expected. He continued: " but you should admit one simple truth,...I'm never gonna be the same again, I tried so hard and I got here and if it wasn't for the promise that I made to my mom and for you guys' help, I never would have make it even this far, but this is the best I can get. I can't get better than this and I sure as hell can't be the same again, ever. You just have to accept this."

But Luke, it has been 9 months! You can't be miserable for the rest of your life!

He gave her a sad smile: " some wounds are too deep to heal.....they can never heal....."

.....But.....I'm your friend and seeing you like this and not being able to help you, just kills me.

The only thing you can do for me, the only thing I want you to do is to sit back and enjoy your life and stop ruining it with mine. I mean you have a great life, you are married to the man you love, you have a beautiful son. There is no reason you can't enjoy it. Enjoy it while you can, that's the only thing that I want from you, ok? ". He smiled and hugged her, then left.

He returned home, sat on the bed and started to look at those photos again, he kept looking until he came across his wedding photos, god how happy he was. That day probably was the best and the worst day of his life. He found a wedding photo from her, it was only her in that picture, wearing white, looking like an angel. His angel. She was smiling and what a beautiful smile it was. The photo was taken in a way as if she was looking and smiling back at the person that was looking at the photo. Tears came to his eyes. He touched his lips with his forefinger and then touched her photo with it, her lips in the photo. Like that forefinger was a messenger to carry that little kiss from his lips to her lips in the photo. He got up to put that perfect picture in a frame. He framed it and held it in his arms when he lay on the bed, while one of her clothes was also there so he could feel the smell of her as he sleeps............

The next day everyone put on nice clothes, bought a gift and went to Jamie's birthday, everyone including Lucas. Of course it had gotten like a habit for him to go to family/friend's parties as the last person and go home sooner than the rest with some lame excuse but this one was different. It was Jamie's birthday and he was gonna be there in time.

Haley's house was like, exploding. There were too many kids in there and they were playing and were all over the place. Haley had already brought the food and it was time for the cake. She wanted to bring the cake and candle, and then feed those little monsters with some piece of cake so after that they could all go home and then when only family members and Jamie's parent's friends were remained there, they could open the presents and spend more time with Jamie.

Haley was putting the candles on the cake that caught a really sad look on Lucas' face. she went to him : " you okay? "

"Yeah, I....I'm fine, I just need fresh air, you guys continue." and he went outside.

Haley got back to prepare the cake for bringing it but gave Nathan a look and made him realized to go after Luke. Nathan went out too. Luke was sitting at the stairs. He sat beside him: "you okay?"

Yeah.

What is it?

Um....,nothing, I just.........I just remembered Jamie's fifth birthday, you know, the one that was after my almost wedding with Lindsey and Haley had invited her here....do you remember when you were putting the candles on the cake what you told me?......you asked me if I was sure that Lindsay was the one and I said "yeah" like an idiot, while deep down I always knew Peyton was the one. She was here and I was wasting time by going after Lindsey.

He shook his head, his voice was shaking and he was trying so hard not to cry in front of his brother: "god, Nathan I wasted too much time, both in high school and after college, when she came back to Tree Hill.........I mean in high school I ruined some chances of being with her, I could have been with her much more, and don't even get me started on the time when she came back to Tree hill, I mean she was right there in front of me and I didn't appreciate her existence, and even when Lindsey broke up with me I wasted too much time by pining over her and then one night when I was forced to face the truth, I got drunk and I told her that I hated her..........." his voice became so shaky that he couldn't continue.

Nathan: you were so hurt and lost, and she knew you didn't mean that. Plus you made it up to her later.

Yeah, she knew and she had such a big heart that she forgave me right away and yeah, I kinda made it up to her but still it doesn't change the fact that I said it and that I hurt her.........you know they say you can't prevent someone's death when it's supposed to happen and that when its written in fate you can't change it, but if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't miss even one second...............do you think it's my punishment? Like this is god's way for punishing me because I took her for granted?......I don't know, maybe I deserve all of this.

What?! No, that's a lame way to think of it. Everyone make mistakes in their life, that doesn't mean they deserve such horrible things happen to them!

I know, I just......I just keep searching for an answer to why it happened and I can't find any.

Sometimes you can't find any answer, especially to these such things.......you know that better than me.

Luke paused a little, then nodded.

Nathan came closer and rubbed his back: "please, don't do this to yourself. You are destroying yourself "

He shook his head: "no,....I was destroyed long ago......." then couldn't keep the tears in his eyes anymore but wiped them so quickly and said: "you go inside,...I don't wanna ruin Jamie's birthday......you go, I'll be in a minute "

Nathan looked at him kindly: "ok" he got up and wanted go inside that Luke called him: "Nathan...."

He turned back and looked at him.

"Thanks."

Nathan smiled: "you're welcome" and went inside. Luke went inside a few minutes later too .They were about to sing the happy birthday song for Jamie so then he could blow the candles.

Haley: don't forget to wish!

Jamie: I know what I want more than anything.

Then looked at Lucas and smiled, and he smiled back without knowing the meaning of Jamie's look.......

Finally Jamie's friends went home and it only remained adults. Haley wanted to open the presents that Brooke came and said: " wait a minute please....I need some attention here. I have some news, Julian and I are engaged"

Everyone was surprised. They all got happy for them and congratulated them.

After that, Haley went towards the gifts and picked one: "ok, who has brought this one? "

Lucas: me.

"Ok, let's see what you brought for Jamie" she was trying to open it and Jamie was so excited to see what it was, that Luke's cell rang.

"Excuse me " Lucas said and took a few steps back so he could hear better, but when he heard the voice of the person that was on the line he just froze where he was standing, wide-eyed and mouth agape. The cell phone fell from his hand on the floor but he didn't try to pick it up, he didn't do anything, he didn't have the strength to.

Nathan came towards him: "hey, are you okay?!"

Luke stared at him for a few seconds and suddenly as if he had just come back to the world from a shock, picked up his cell phone:"Hello?Hello?!"

The person had hung up the phone. Luke was confused, so were the others. Haley said: "Luke what is it? Who was that? "

He looked at her: "you're gonna think this is crazy but......it was Peyton"

Everyone got surprised by him saying that and thought he had gone completely insane.

Haley got frustrated and turned his head away: "you know what Luke? That IS crazy" shook her head and continued: "Peyton is gone. She isn't gonna come back! Ever ! "

He got a little hurt and softly said: " Haley, look at me...I'm a mess, I'm a real mess,…I'm more like a lost ghost than an actual human being, wandering around, not knowing what I'm doing anymore.....you think why that is? Because I know she is gone forever......but I need you to believe me when I say it was her on the phone!"

Mouth: maybe that person's voice was just like Peyton's voice.

Luke: I know her voice.

Nathan: ok, try calling back.

Why hadn't he thought about this himself? He called that number: ".......um, sorry wrong number "

Nathan: what happened?

"Some guy answered it" he shook his head and tried to process what was going on. He was sure it was her voice.

Jamie came close to him: "Uncle Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"I believe you! 'cause I wished that you could have aunt Peyton back, so you could be happy again......" in his childish eyes was such innocence.

Luke smiled slightly and said: "thanks buddy,......Happy Birthday " and hugged him. Then said: "I'm gonna go home, you guys carry on."

Haley: but.....

"I need to be home right now.......I need to think and clear my head, so......bye " and he left before anyone else got a chance to say something.

After a few minutes that he left and while they were busy opening the gifts, someone knocked the door.

Brooke: oh god, now what?

Haley: I bet its Luke that is back...........come in Luke, the door is open!

The door got opened but it wasn't Lucas. None of them could believe what they were seeing. It was Peyton...........


	5. Chapter 5

Brooke ran to her and hugged her. She was crying and laughing at the same time: " my god, it's you!.........you are alive!....." and hugged her again. Peyton grinned.

Haley: how can this be possible?!

And touched her first to make sure she is real then hugged her.

Everyone was shocked and they were pretty much rambling.

Nathan: we thought you were dead! What happened to you? Where were you all this time?!

Peyton: I'll explain everything later, is Luke here? I went home, the door was locked and he wasn't there, I tried to call him with taxi driver's cell phone but........

Haley: so it was really you!

Where is he now?

He went home....

"Ok then, I'm gonna go there, I can't wait to see him, the taxi still is waiting outside, see you guys later." She turned back to leave but Haley said: " wait!........um, I think it's better that you wait here, I'll call him and tell him to come..............you know, it's better this way, it's not good that you show up there suddenly like that, he is probably gonna have a heart attack " she chuckled nervously and continued: " it's better that he comes here and we tell him slowly............plus there are some things that you should know......I can tell you about them until he comes............."

Peyton was a little confused, she wondered what Haley was talking about: "um, ok,......then let me pay the driver."

Nathan: I got it, you stay.

Peyton: no, I want to thank him too, he helped a lot and has been super sweet.....plus there is something that I should bring from the car.

She went and came back after a few minutes.....but she wasn't alone this time. A beautiful baby girl was in her arms, she was asleep......everyone got surprised again........

Brooke: oh my god! Awww, she is so cute! Is she........?

Peyton looked at the baby with a smile on her lips and so kindly, like she was adoring every single part of her: "yeah, she is all ours, mine and Lucas' "

Peyton put baby in the bed of one of the rooms and came and sat: " did you call Luke?"

Haley: yeah, he is gonna come.............um, we thought you were dead.......not like missing dead.......like dead dead......there was an actual body that we buried as you.

Peyton: what?!

Yeah, they found it in the comet and they thought it was you considering the evidences, of course the body itself was burnt along with comet and wasn't recognizable................so what happened to you? Do you remember?

All I remember is a foggy memory of him driving me with comet to somewhere and leaving me there to die. He had hit me in the head which caused me to go in coma for almost 9 months. But the baby was still healthy inside my belly by some miracle and they took her out with c-section one month after they found me, they took care of her, they didn't know my name or anything and didn't have hope for me to wake up. But I woke up in like 20 days ago but I couldn't remember who I was because of that head trauma. It was frustrating and the only thing that gave me hope was the baby. But today I finally remembered everything and I came as soon as I could.

Nathan: then who was that body?! The one that apparently was wearing your ring?!

Peyton: I don't know and I don't even care right now, I just wanna see Luke.

Haley : yeah, about that..........he had a really bad emotional trauma by all that.......he just fell apart and were totally destroyed...........in the past 9 months he has been in hospital 3 times, two of them for committing suicide.......he also spent a while in mental hospital.

.......my god!

Yeah, he is a mess but don't worry, he is better now......but when you see him.......he is just not the Luke you remember.......I just wanted you to know that and expect that before you see him.

Peyton got so upset by hearing what he had been through in her absence.

Somebody knocked the door.

Haley: quick! Go hide somewhere until I tell him slowly and make him ready.

"Ok". Peyton went and hid.

Everyone was nervous. Luke entered: "hey"

Haley grinned nervously: "hi!"

What's up Haley? Is everything ok? I got a little worried by your strange call.

Yeah, everything is fine.....everything is more than fine.....

Luke got confused.

"Come sit here, there is something you should know. "

He sat beside her.

Haley continued: "I know this hard for you to talk about but.....do you remember that the police said Peyton's body was burnt and unrecognizable and they had to confirm that it was her by her ring and some pieces of her wedding dress that they found?

......yeah, so?

Well,.....they made a mistake.......it wasn't her body.......

Then whose body was that?!

We still don't know, but......the important thing is that......Peyton is alive......

It took him a little while to process what he was hearing. He got even more confused: " .......what? What are you talking about? "

She has been in coma all this time because of the head trauma.....but she is okay now.

......are you sure? How do you know all this?

Haley paused: ".......because she is here now"

Peyton came out from hiding: "Luke......" she smiled and came a little closer but didn't ran over there to hug him or anything, she wanted to give him the chance to process all that shock.

He became wide-eyed and mouth agape. He stood up but couldn't move, like he was frozen there. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't trust his eyes. Was it really her? Or it was just a dream like previous times. He blinked a few times to see if she was gonna vanish like before or not.........no, she was still standing there..........it was her....it really was her!

He felt like his legs were shaking but he went towards her with quick steps and as fast as he had the strength to. He hugged her, wrapped her in his arms and held her so tight and as hard as he could and stayed like that for at least 3 minutes. While he was holding her like that, his nose was close to her shoulder, he smelled it, and breathed the smell of her skin with a deep breath, and touched her shoulder with his lips slightly. His tears started to fall on his cheeks. He looked at her and started kissing every part of her face without any pause, her forehead, her nose, her cheek...anywhere he could....then he leaned his forehead to hers, closed his eyes and while their faces and lips were so close, whispered: "I thought I lost you forever" his voice was shaky. She looked at him kindly and started to stroke his hair and face: "it's ok now, ok? It's all over now and everything is gonna be fine"

He chuckled though his tears were still dropping: "yeah"

Her heart broke by seeing him like that, he had become so thinner, below his eyes were hollow, showing that he doesn't sleep well at nights, and his skin was kinda pale, not to mention his long hair and beard. He was looking so broken, and truly was a mess. Her look got sad and her eyes became teary: " god....what have you done to yourself? You look,.....like a mess" she said gently and kept stroking his face. He took her hand that was touching his face and kissed it: "but I'm your mess, remember?". She gave him a sad smile. He smiled back, genuinely, after a long time, and tried to make her stop worrying: " like you said it's all over now and everything is gonna be fine" he nodded. Then looked into her beautiful eyes with such adoration, it was like he was melting in them, like he was in pure ecstasy. Then he looked at her lips and slowly went to kiss them. A long passionate kiss. After that they looked at each other's eyes while they were smiling. She put her head on his chest and hugged him again. He put his arms around her, closed his eyes, and started to stroke her hair while he was smiling and breathing the smell of her hair.

All of them had gotten emotional and had tears in their eyes, tears of joy. Finally Skills broke the silence: "man! You guys should stop before I end up like a crying baby in front of everybody and get embarrassed."

Everyone laughed, including Lucas and Peyton.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Sit here, there is something I should show you" Peyton said to Luke and went to the room. She came back with their baby that had just woken up. She brought her and sat beside Lucas while the baby was in her arms. Luke's eyes became wide again. He didn't know what to say.

Peyton: hey baby, say hi to daddy.

Luke looked at the baby. She was perfect! Then looked at Peyton and chuckled. Peyton chuckled too: "do you wanna hold her?"

He nodded. She gave him the baby. He kept looking at her, the look on his face was totally showing that he was adoring her. Then he kissed her forehead: "she is amazing and so beautiful!.............and she really looks like you!" and chuckled again.

"She looks like you too" Peyton grinned.

Luke looked at both of them and smiled: "god, this is a miracle "..........

They went home, all three of them. Peyton put the baby to sleep and put her in the bed in her room. She couldn't believe he kept the room the way it was, for 9 months. After that she went to bed and lay beside him.

3 hours passed but they were still awake.

Peyton: don't you wanna sleep? It's 2 AM.

"No.....I just wanna keep holding you and looking at you" kissed her forehead "and......I'm afraid to close my eyes.......I'm afraid when I open them you will be gone again and that all of this is just a sweet dream"

Hey, look at me......I'm real......this is real.

Tell me again.

It's real.

He smiled: "good"

"I won't go anywhere, I promise" and started to stroke him.

He was relieved and so calm. Like suddenly all that dark weight had taken from his shoulder, and that pain in his chest had gone away. Finally he was at peace again and was feeling the things that he thought he would never feel again: happiness, joy, peace, love. He couldn't be happier than this, didn't want anything more than this. He fell asleep so easily, after a long time.....

It was the morning after, and he was waking up while there was a smile on his lips. He had slept so well last night, no nightmare, no pain, no hurting. His eyes were still closed but he moved his hand to her side of the bed to touch her but it was empty. He got scared and opened his eyes and mumbled: "Peyton" and looked for her but she wasn't there. He sat suddenly and repeated: "Peyton!" this time out loud.

She came from the other room and stood there: "what is it?"

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He was relieved.

Peyton became worried: "are you okay?"

He opened his eyes and smiled slightly: "yeah......just come lie down here with me for a bit"

Peyton was confused but lay beside him. He held her again, so tight. And stayed like that for a few minutes.

Peyton: Luke, what's wrong?

Nothing......I just......I woke up and you weren't here,...so I got scared and thought that I dreamed everything about last night.

"Oh, honey........the baby got up, so I went to her room.......I told you that I'm not going anywhere." she started to stroke his face.

I know,...I know, but............you don't know what I've been through in the past nine months, it has been like a real hell for me, but now that you are here I know that everything is gonna be ok, and I'm gonna be ok,.....I just need a little time to........be "me" again.

"Ok. And I'm gonna help you to get there" she nodded.

He smiled slightly: "I know"

Peyton chuckled : "and it is gonna start right now by me cutting your hair and shaving your beard " she playfully was touching his long hair "because though I love this rock star kind of style it doesn't suit you and it's not "you" at all ."

Lucas chuckled too: "ok"

She cut his hair, shaved his beard and gave him a mirror after that: "see? This is more like it"

He looked in the mirror, he was looking like himself again, he was looking alive again, and that wasn't just because of the hair cut. He smiled: "yeah.....you know I couldn't care less about my hair and appearance at the point I was in the past 9 months.......of course Haley wanted to cut my hair sometimes but I didn't even have mood for that....though she forced me and did what she wanted a few times."

"Ok, while you get a shower I go prepare the breakfast " and kissed him on the lips.

"Ok."

He took a shower and came to kitchen, sat behind the table that she had prepared. She was standing in front of the stove, making breakfast. It was almost done. She turned back to look at him: "hmmm, you look nice!"

He smiled: "thank you."

"And yummy."

He laughed.

She laughed too and continued: "of course not as yummy as your favorite breakfast, pancake......oops, I mean French toast" she was playing with him and making him laugh.

Breakfast got ready and she put a plate of French toasts on the table. He picked up the fork and was gonna pick one French toast with it that his hand started to shake again and fork fell on the table. He slightly looked at her that was a little shocked. He was kinda embarrassed and he didn't know why, maybe because he didn't want to ruin that moment or make her worried. He didn't even try to pick it up again, because his hand was still shaking, though he made it fistic to stop it from shaking and also to hide its shaking that was still continuing, from her. It was an awkward moment but Peyton made it right. She put her hand on his fist, rubbed it with her thumb and waited till it became less shaky, then took his hand and kissed it gently. He looked at her with such adoration and smiled. She smiled back, then picked up the fork, sliced one French toast, picked it with fork and moved it towards his mouth. He opened his mouth and ate it. Then looked at her: "I love you so much....with all my heart, you know that?"

She smiled and nodded: "I love you too"

The baby started crying.

Peyton: I'm gonna get her.

She brought her. Luke smiled by seeing her adorable little face: "hey there beautiful"

"Here, go to daddy until mommy eats her breakfast." and gave her to Lucas.

Luke took her, kissed her head, and put her on his legs.

Peyton: so what do you think about her name? I mean she is 8 months old and she still doesn't have a name. I didn't name her while I was in amnesia. I was so confused, plus I wanted to wait till I find her father and ask his opinion too.

Lucas: I don't know, what do you wanna name her?

How about Sawyer?

I thought you wanted to name her Anna...after your mom.

Yeah, but then I thought what about my dad? I mean I want her name remind me of both of them and since Sawyer is a first name too and it also can be used for a girl I thought it would be good to name her Sawyer.

Ok, then Sawyer it is.

They both laughed and little baby girl started laughing from their laugh too, though she had no idea what the hell they were laughing about and so, she made her parents laugh even more by doing that.

A short while after that Luke found Peyton changing her clothes in their room: "where are you going? "

To the Tric. I'm dying to see my office, plus I wanna know what Mia and Haley had done in my absence.

Your office looks exactly the same, they kept it that way and they haven't used it.

She got happy: "really?"

"Yeah". He seemed a little sad.

What?

Nothing, I just thought we could spend the whole day together, I mean you were gone for nine months, it would be nice to spend all 24 hours of today with each other.

She still was busy changing her clothes: "I would love that too honey, but since you are gonna go to school I thought......"

I'm not. I called and said I was sick.

Really?

Yeah.

"Ok then, I'll stay home too." she smiled.

"Great" he got happy.

I wish you would have told me sooner though, because in that way I wouldn't have bothered to change my clothes, now I have to take this off and change again.

He looked at her as if something naughty just came to his mind. He got close to her, while he was being flirty and playful: "well, I can help you to take it off" and started to play his fingers around her neck.

She grinned: "yeah, I would love to use your help for that"

And that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He started to unbutton her dress, then started to kiss her lips. But then saw Sawyer crawling to their room. They got interrupted.

Lucas: I thought you said she was asleep!

Peyton: she was! She fell asleep on the couch, but apparently she has woken up again and since our couch is not that high I guess she has managed to come down somehow and get herself here.

"Ahhh.....perfect timing" Luke was a little disappointed.

Peyton laughed and picked up Sawyer: "hey Mr! Now you have to share me with her, you can't have me all by yourself! ". Then started baby talking: "Isn't that right Sawyer? Isn't that right? "

Luke grinned, came closer and kissed both of them: "fine, screw sex. Let's take a ride. Three of us."

A ride to where?

To our spot.

And they drove there. It was there that they talked to each other for the first time, it was there that he gave her a ring and it was there that they got married. They got there and stayed there for a short while. It had a really beautiful view and having all those beautiful memories had just made that place really special for them. They kept standing there and looking at the view for a few minutes but Peyton suddenly got sad.

Hey,...what is it?

Nothing, I was just thinking about how comet got destroyed.

"Hey" he came closer to her, while he was holding Sawyer, and started to rub her back "we lost comet, yes, but I got my comet back, the real comet. And the important thing is that we survived that horrible things and now we are together and happy, with our little princess" Then looked at Sawyer.

"Yeah, you're right…." she smiled ".....oh, btw, speaking of comet, we should inform the police about the body and all that"

"Yeah, I'm gonna call them when we get back home".......

2 days after that, a detective came to their house: "we did the DNA test to identify that body and we just got the result. The body belonged to a hooker." he looked at Peyton "our guess is that after Ian took your ring for whatever reason and left you there to die, he sees that hooker and wants to take her to his place or something like that and gives the ring to her as the price or a gift or something, obviously he wanted to get rid of it but also didn't want it on your finger too. Anyway then that accident happens and you know the rest"

Lucas and Peyton didn't know what to say, they were just glad that it was over for good. "Well, I'm glad that eveything turned out ok for you guys" detective said this and left..........

4 days had passed since her return but they still hadn't gotten the chance to have sex, because Sawyer had become so difficult in the last 3 days for god knows why. Though they guessed she was teething.

That day they were all invited to Brooke's house for her engagement party. Lucas was getting ready, he was almost done that Peyton entered the room: "hey, we are ready, are you ready too?"

He turned back and was stunned by her. She was looking so gorgeous, wearing a short black sexy dress, showing off her sexy legs and looking hot as hell. He stared at her for a few seconds, like he couldn't take his eyes off of her: "wow, you look so hot..." got closer to her "and nice legs btw ". He had it so bad for her legs since 8th grade. He used to hide and stalk her and of course watch her legs for like, 3 years. And he had told her that in senior year.

Peyton chuckled: you really used to watch my legs?

"Yeah, and I sure as hell used to enjoy doing that, you have no idea" he grinned.

But I'm sure it wasn't just because of my legs. There had be something else too.

"Yeah" he got a little serious "you were so beautiful, both inside and outside, complicated, deep, mysterious and interesting that I couldn't resist stalking you, also you looked so lonely all the time......just like me"

She smiled and got closer: "but we aren't lonely anymore, are we?"

He smiled back: "no". They kissed.

Peyton went to bring Sawyer while Luke grabbed his coat and was ready to leave. Peyton came, holding Sawyer. She was wearing a cute blue dress.

Luke: wow, she looks so beautiful. Both of my girls are hot. I'm a lucky man.

"You bet you are..............though I'll be honest, you are hot yourself too." they both laughed.......

When they arrived, everyone was shocked. Their wide eyes were showing that.

Nathan: Luke, you look so good! And so different.

Luke smiled: "thanks."

They were all having fun at Brooke's, sitting there, talking, making jokes, laughing, Skills made a joke and everyone laughed, including Luke. But everyone stared at him. He got confused and stopped laughing: "wait,.....that was a joke, right? "

Mouth laughed: "yeah"

Well then, why everybody is looking at me like that?

It's just nice to see you laugh again.

Luke smiled and looked at Peyton that was sitting beside him, holding Sawyer. She smiled back........

They came home. Sawyer was asleep in Luke's arms: "I'm gonna put her in her bed" he whispered.

"Ok."

He went to baby's room, put her in the bed and came back to their room. Peyton had taken her dress off and was in her sexy black bra and underwear. She wanted to put on her nightclothes though.

Lucas got naughty again: "oh, no no no, you don't need to wear that.....its good this way or maybe even I can take off these little things too " he grinned.

Peyton laughed : "Ok, I know how bad you want it, trust me I do too but you know how Sawyer has been the last few days, what if we start and she wakes up or even worse what if we do it and then when we are tired and need to sleep she starts to cry?"

Ok, I promise if that will be the case I will be the one that goes to make her calm and put her to sleep again. What now?

Really?

Yeah.

Deal.

Lucas got happy and excited like a little baby. Peyton came closer playfully: "let's get to work Mr Scott." She started to unbutton his shirt. First button and one kiss on his neck. Second button, a kiss on his chest. Third button, another kiss. Forth one and a kiss on his stomach. She was doing it so slowly and gently, with a smile on her lips. His eyes were closed while she was doing all that and he was breathing heavily. She took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He opened his eyes, she kissed his lips over and over, so passionately. Then she went behind him, wrapped her arms around him from back and put her head on his back for a moment. He smiled and touched her fingers that were on his own stomach. She started to kiss his back, from up to down, and she did it so softly. Then came in front of him again, gave him a naughty smile and pushed him to bed. She had taken control just like their first make out. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, while his feet were on the ground and he was smiling back at her. She came close, sat on his legs, put her one leg on one side and the other leg on the other side of his legs and started to kiss his lips again. Then laid him on the bed without stopping kissing him. After a few seconds she paused a little and looked in his eyes and smiled again. He smiled back but after a moment a naughty look came in his eyes. He grinned: "my turn now" and switched his place with her quickly and put her below. Now he was on top. They smiled at each other again. He started to kiss her, her lips, her neck, her boob, her tummy. He was doing it with such passion, so gently and slowly. Just like her. They were both breathing heavily. He took off her bra and underwear, and his own pants too...........

.....They were both naked and sweaty, under the bed sheet, lying on the bed, holding each other.

Lucas chuckled: "we're still perfect."

Peyton laughed: "well, saying this just earned you another one, so soon!"

They both laughed.

But just when they were about to sleep, Sawyer started to cry.

Peyton: " oh no....."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna go to her as I promised." Luke got up and put on some clothes.

Peyton: see? I knew this would happen, now you are gonna have to soothe her and put her to sleep and that's gonna take at least one hour and you don't have much time to get some sleep and you'll be exhausted in school tomorrow.

He smiled and whispered: "so worth it!"

She grinned.

He went to baby's room, and tried to calm her. A few minutes passed and Peyton couldn't resist going there. She put on some clothes and went there to check up on them. When she got there, Sawyer was in his arms, she was so calm and he was feeding her with a bottle and was baby talking with her while she was sucking it: "you're such a good girl, 'cause you slept and let mommy and daddy do their little thingy....."

Peyton couldn't resist laughing at that. The door was open but she still was outside the room and hadn't entered. In fact when she had seen them being cute like that and since Sawyer was already calm, she just wanted to watch them and not to interrupt them and Luke hadn't realized she was standing there until she laughed at what he said.

He looked at Peyton and chuckled: "what? That's true!" Then turned his head, looked at Sawyer and started to baby talk again with the biggest smile on his lips: "that's right. You are such a good girl, aren't you?.........yes you are"

Peyton kept looking at them and adoring them silently. She had a big smile on her lips too.

Luke gently said: "why did you come? I told you I got this, go get some sleep."

She smiled: "ok ".........

* * *

Lucas was sitting behind his desk, typing something. Yeah, he was writing his 5th book.

" Daddy come play with me!" his 4 year old beautiful daughter was standing there, wearing a cute white dress and had a white ribbon on her curly blond hair.

He smiled: "sweetie, I'm working."

She insisted: "please daddy! Come play with me, I'm so bored! Please!"

He paused for a short while: ".......um,......ok " he closed the laptop, picked her up and put her on his legs "so, what do you wanna play? "

"Pillow fight on your bed!"

Honey, you know your mom just made our bed. She is gonna be mad.

"No, let's go and play!" and took his hand and led him to his bed. They started to play.

When Peyton heard their noise she so knew what they were doing. She moved towards the room. They heard her steps:

Sawyer was excited: "mommy is coming!"

"Quick! Let's hide!"

They hid behind one side of the bed.

Peyton entered the room and saw the messy bed: "Lucas Eugene Scott! Sawyer Scott! I just made this bed! "

They chuckled together but then put their forefingers on their lips and whispered to each other: "shhhh"

Peyton realized where they were, she grinned, then picked a pillow from bed and threw it at where they were.

Lucas: ow!

He came out while he was rubbing his head. Sawyer came out too but she was laughing. So was Peyton. Peyton glared at Lucas.

Lucas: ok! I'll make the bed!

Peyton chuckled: "good! And btw since I know your pillow fights include a little jumping too, just so you know, if you two break this thing one of these days you have to sleep on the floor for the rest of your life! "

Sawyer said: "mommy, come play with us! Daddy said he is gonna make the bed so you won't have to do it again, so come play with us, it's so fun. You'll see."

"Honey I have some work to do, I should......." suddenly a pillow was thrown at her. She looked at Lucas that was grinning like a naughty little boy and said: "oh, it is so on!"

They were on the bed, throwing pillows at each other, laughing, having fun, being in their little world, being happy.

Lucas: fine! Fine! You two won! I give up.

And he held his hands on the air. Peyton and Sawyer laughed.

Sawyer: ok, good! We won and you lost! The game is over!

And she ran out of the room while she was laughing. Her parents had the biggest grin while they watched her leaving the room. Then they looked at each other and smiled.

Peyton wanted to leave too but Luke took her arm and pulled her towards himself and while their faces were so close, he whispered in a sexy way: "where are YOU going? The game isn't over yet! "

She chuckled. They started to kiss which turned to a make out in 2 minutes. He picked her up while they were kissing and laid her on the bed softly, then he wanted to start kissing her again while he was on top of her that Peyton held his face and smiled: "stop it! She is gonna come in any second!"

He chuckled: "ok, I'll stop in a minute" and kissed her neck.

Sawyer: what are you doing?

She was standing outside the room. Luke got up so quickly and stood. Peyton sat.

Lucas: um....nothing,...we were.....we were just playing

She got excited: "can I play too?"

No honey, this game is just for adults, you can't play it till you are at least 18!

Is it a cool game?

Oh yes!.......

Peyton chuckled at that.

Ok then daddy, I'm gonna play it with you when I'm 18.

What?! No, you can't......I mean........

Peyton came to help him: "you can't play that with everyone, it's a little complicated, you'll see when you grow up……"

Sawyer was confused but dropped it: "ok, I just wanted to ask if you saw my pastel. I want to draw". She loved drawing and was good at it, just like her mom.

Peyton: yeah baby, I put it on your desk.

"Ok, thanks" and she left the room.

Her parents looked at each other and started laughing again:

Peyton: ok, I'm gonna go to kitchen before you start to play that "game" again.......and btw, make that bed!

He chuckled: "ok"

She wanted to leave but paused and turned back: "one more thing"

What?

She looked in his blue eyes: "I love you" she said genuinely and smiled.

He smiled back: "I love you too" and sent her an air kiss. Then made the bed and after that sat behind his desk. He started to write again, and typed this: "and believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do....... "

THE END


End file.
